Great, New Resource for Churches!

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Philo Weatherbee

Jolene Philo and Katie Wetherbee have created a fabulous resource for churches that are interested in starting or improving their ministry to families with special needs.  Written with as a metaphor of preparing for guests comign to a dinner party, Every Child Welcome guides the reader through the process of planing, preparing and implementing a ministry that is flexible and intentionally welcoming.

I had the opportunity to ask Jolene Philo for insights about the creative process and advice for churches seeking to offer a more inclusive welcome to families.

What inspired you to write “Every Child Welcome? How did you come to partner with Katie Wetherbee in the creative process?

Katie and I met at a special needs ministry conference in Des Moines, Iowa the fall of 2010. My first book, A Different Dream for My Child, had been out for about a year, and I was selling it at a book table. Katie was presenting several special needs ministry workshops for Key Ministry. She came up to my book table and said, “I’m Katie Wetherbee. I love your book!” I realized her workshops were the sessions I’d highlighted to attend. I went to them and realized our styles of teaching were very similar. Plus we had so much in common. We were both former public school teachers who’d worked a lot with kids in special education. We were both moms of kids with special needs. And we both blogged about special needs issues.

After the conference, we began to follow one another’s blog and corresponded by email. In one email, she asked if she could call with questions about a book she had in mind. After she explained her idea, I said, “I assumed you wanted to write a book that compiled the great teaching ideas and strategies you’ve posted on your blog.”

“Oh,” she said, “I don’t have a clue about how to write that book.”

I said, “Then let’s write it together.” And so we did.

We had a wonderful time working together. By the time the book was written, revised, and the publisher sent the final proofs, we couldn’t remember who had written what because our writing styles meshed so well.

What changes have you seen over the years in welcoming children with special needs?

When I first started writing about special needs parenting, the topic wasn’t on the radar screen of most Christian publishers, churches and program leaders. That has changed. Special needs ministry is now one of the hot topics in church and ministry circles. The number of formal special needs ministry programs has mushroomed in the past decade, especially in larger churches. Those churches attract a lot of families of kids with special needs, and that is wonderful.

But smaller churches still struggle to raise awareness and to become equipped to welcome kids with special needs. Katie and I wrote Every Child Welcome with those churches and their children’s ministry workers in mind. We hope the book can equip Sunday school teachers and mid-week children’s ministry volunteers to welcome kids even if their church doesn’t have a formal special needs ministry.

What strategies do you suggest for maintaining an inclusive ministry as children become teens?

Basically, when a church begins thinking about special needs ministry, they need to think of it as a whole church ministry, not as just a children’s ministry. They need to create a

welcoming climate for people with disabilities and special needs across church ministries and age groups. Church leaders need to consider special needs ministry a high priority by  making regular worship services inclusive. Greeters, ushers, and parking lot attendants need to be trained to welcome those with special needs. Children’s ministry leaders, youth leaders, and adult program leaders need to seek training to learn how to become more inclusive. Churches that create an inclusive culture throughout the church will find that moving kids from children’s programs to youth programs is easier because the culture is already in place.

What key advice can you offer to a church looking to begin an inclusive ministry for children with special needs?

First, start small by meeting the needs of families already attending your church. If a family has a child with Down syndrome, ask what the child needs to be able to fully participate and work together to make that happen.

Second, educate your church leadership and ministry about the importance of special needs ministry. Read books, attend special needs ministry conferences, or host a special needs ministry training at your church. Create a special needs ministry plan based on what you’ve learned and what your child needs.

Third, educate everyone at your church about the importance of welcoming people with special needs and disabilities. Start creating a church culture, using ideas you’ll find in Every Child Welcome, so your church becomes a place where people with special needs are welcome rather than a church with programs for people who have special needs.

Jolene-and-Katie-300x275

About the Authors:

Jolene taught elementary school for 25 years. She’s author of the Different Dream Parenting series and blogs at her special needs website, DifferentDream.com. She speaks at special needs conferences around the country. Jolene and her husband enjoy their empty nest in Boone, Iowa.

Katie is a former special education teacher. Her educational consulting firm serves families by providing solution-oriented advocacy. She pens the special needs column for Children’s Ministry magazine and blogs at katiewetherbee.wordpress.com. Katie & her husband live in Chagrin Falls, Ohio with their 2 children and their dog, Mitzie.

Jolene and Katie are both parents of kids with special needs.

Gracious God, Thank you for the vision and passion and that Jolene and Katie share for helping congregations welcome all of God’s children. Bless their efforts to help connect families into churches so that all may be nurtured and grow in their love of and knowledge of you. Amen

Feeling Impatient to Become More Patient

Special Needs Parenting, , , , ,

Sandra Peoples at Not Alone Minsitry invited me to write a blog sharing tips for improving patience from my book Special Needs Parenting: From Coping to Thriving.  You can read that original blog by clicking here, or read the repost below.

“Meditation By Young Women” by tiverylucky couresy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Love is patient; Love is kind.” 1 Corinthians 13: 4a

The irony did not escape me.  Years ago at the first session of a six-week support group I outlined the topics I planned to cover.  Then I offered that if there were other topics folks would like to discuss we could add those as well. I decided to grease the skids of the group’s creative thinking by offering some suggestions, “We could talk about siblings, resilience, patience…”

“Yes! Patience! I need that!” one participant exclaimed.

“Me too!”

“Same here!”

I offered, “Would you like me to rearrange lessons and do that one sooner rather than later?”

I got an enthusiastic, “Yes!” from every participant.

Why so impatient to talk about patience?  Maybe because it is something that is hard for everyone. Virtually every special needs parent I know has commented about how they have more patience than they ever thought possible, but that they also wished they had even more.  Patience encompasses so many aspects of life related to parenting a child with extraordinary needs.  Coping with insurance and the medical minefield, scheduling therapy, the (for some) unending quest for diagnosis, and over-committed schedules all contribute to a losing patience.  Is chronic lack of sleep a familiar companion? Let us not forget the “homework wars” looming large right around the corner with the new school year.  Any one of these reasons, plus many others as well, may push patience to the breaking point if reserves are low.

As Christians, we are meant to strive for patience. It is a virtue to be cultivated. The Apostle Paul writes of patience in several of his letters to churches he founded or planned to visit. In his letter to the churches in Corinth, he expounds on the characteristics of love. The first attribute of love is that “love is patient” (1 Cor. 13:4). Paul writes to the churches in Galatia listing the fruit of the Spirit, the qualities cultivated in your life when living as a follower of Christ filled with the Holy Spirit, “By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things” (Gal. 5:22–23). To the Colossians he writes, “As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Col. 3:12-13).

Paul writes of the importance of cultivating patience because even two thousand years ago people struggled with patience. I suppose some comfort comes in knowing it is a universal area for personal growth, but how do we cultivate it? How do we learn to become more patient people, especially in the midst of long-term stress and difficulties? When I think of what it feels like to lose my patience, there comes a tipping point and beyond that patience is broken.

In my book, Special Needs Parenting: From Coping to Thriving, I included a chapter about patience that includes strategies about unlocking each person’s triggers for losing patience.  Here is an excerpt from the book offering a few strategies to combat those triggers:

Breath prayer/mantra. Breath prayer involves picking a word or short phrase and repeating it silently or aloud in conjunction with the pattern of breathing. Breathe in to the thought “Love is patient.” Breathe out to the thought “Love is kind.” Alternate phrases include: “Breathe on me breath of God,” “Create in me a clean heart,” or “Let there be peace.” Any phrase that is peaceful and centering for you is appropriate to use in those moments when patience is at the breaking point.

Exercise. There are physical symptoms that come before a loss of patience: fidgeting, tensed muscles, some describe a tingling sensation. Hard exercise releases pent-up tension. Make regular exercise a part of your routine. In the heat of the moment, if appropriate, do some push-ups, crunches, or lunges. Run around the block. Play racket ball against the garage door. At times I would ask my son to run to his room as fast as he could to get something, and I would time him. I would be very impressed by how fast he was and then ask him if he thought he could do it even faster. By the time he raced up and down the stairs five times, he was tired, his frustration was gone, and he was in a great mood from endorphins and playtime. If running in the house is against the rules where you live, a trip to the car in the garage or the mailbox could serve the same purpose.

Journal. Emotions and tension need expression in order to be processed and released. Some find journaling a great resource for sharing feelings of frustration, resentment, and impatience. Through that process you can gain a deeper understanding of self. If you have concerns about a person reading your journal, use electronic media that can be password protected or secure a written journal in a private place.

Prayer. Never underestimate the power of prayer. It does not have to be a long prayer, and it does not have to be out loud. Simply pray, “Loving God, I am at the end of my patience. I am overwhelmed and I don’t feel I can hold it together right now. I need you to strengthen me. I need you to calm me. I need you to give me peace. Most of all, I need you. Amen.” What a powerful lesson for a child who struggles with behavior to hear you pray a prayer like that, or for you to pray together.

Communicate. Talk to someone about your frustration. It helps! If a person is the source of your frustration, have a conversation with him or her at a time when you are calm and have a clear perspective. Opening channels of communication is likely to help alleviate the strain. If the source of frustration is not a person, but rather a situation, confide in a spouse, good friend, or pastor who can be objective and help you look for solutions or simply provide a sympathetic ear.

Find support. Being part of a community of people on a journey similar to your own is helpful. It provides a forum where you can be easily understood because others live with situations similar to your own. Find a place where you feel that you belong and can connect in a meaningful way that is rejuvenating. Others living your with similar experiences may have resources and helpful tips that will provide a solution to your problem. Even if others cannot offer a solution, it is healing simply to be heard and understood.

There are no perfect parents and everyone will lose their patience at times.  Give yourself permission to be human. With intentional practice and anticipation of situations that will test patience it is possible to improve personal patience.

Patient God, We are so grateful that your capacity for patience far exceeds our own.  Help us find ways to tap into your infinite reserve of calm in those moments when we feel we may lose it. Forgive us our human failings when we fall short and help us find grace  and forgiveness in others.

Rev Doc Lorna

“Meditation By Young Women” by tiverylucky courtesy FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

 

Special Needs Parent Appreciation!

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green watercolor background

For the month August, Sandra Peoples and Carol Flory at Not Alone Ministry launched Special Needs Parent Appreciation Month. Plain moms and dads get a mere day to celebrate their talents as parents.  Special needs parents deserve an entire month!  It’s fitting that they chose “back-to-school” month, undoubtedly the most stressful month of the year for most special needs families.  If there is ever a time when we need a bit of extra appreciation, August is it! For all of those therapy appointments, for juggling a tight budget, for giving tirelessly to those who need it most, for the million ways in which you give and care – Well done!

Earlier this year a parent said to me, “I wish there were a devotion just for special needs parents. I read other devotions. I like them alright. I just wish I could find one that really resonates my experience.”  As a gift to special needs parents, Not Alone Ministry created a 30-day devotional eBook. They tackle hard topics like anger, guilt and fear, as well as the lighter fare of parenting, such as hope, friendship and grace. They invited a variety of disability writers to contribute, including me.  You can read more about the project here: http://bit.ly/1ECJEiU and you can download your copy of the devotion here: http://bit.ly/1My3eTT

On a personal note, many folks have been asking about an eBook version of Special Needs Parenting: From Coping to Thriving.  The eBook was released on Amazon on my son’s birthday, which feels perfectly fitting! You can find both the print and electronic versions here: http://amzn.to/1h0kSEy

Renewing God, for the parent who gives constantly and takes little for themselves, provide an opportunity for self-care.  For the parent who yearns to hear their child say thank you, help them feel that appreciation in ways that transcend words.  For the parent who worries maybe they are not enough, remind them we are all more than conquerors through Christ Jesus who strengthens us all. Let all that we do as parents be to your glory. Amen

Blessings!

Rev Doc Lorna

Back-to-School Prayer

Special Needs Parenting, , , ,

Little Boy Holding a Whiteboard by photostock

Here in Texas it is the first day of school. I’m thinking of all the parents and students who are feeling a bit anxious today. Transitions are hard for most, but especially so when for children with developmental differences. One friend is sending her son off for his first day of school ever. Another friend just sent a photo of her son on his first day of middle school and it reminded me of my anxious nerves when that was my son making those big transitions.

Years ago as I met with his helping teacher the week before school started she asked, “Do you just sit home and worry about him all day?”

I tried to shrug it off. “Oh no! I have part-time job I go to at the church while he is at school.”

She looked skeptical.  She knew the truth… that I simply went to work and worried about him there rather than at home.

Was there ever a perfect first day of school? No. Not at our house.  But we all made it home at the end of the day and sorted out the new routine.  Day by day it got better.  So much of that worry was simply a waste of energy.  I probably contributed to making my son yet more anxious.  Ouch!  That is a painful realization.

Jesus offers valuable advice about wasted effort of worry

And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these.
(Luke 12:25-27 NRS)

Great advice, but I know it is hard to follow at times. And so I offer this prayer for all the folks feeling anxious about back-to-school.

Nirturing God, grant peace to those who are anxious, big people and little people alike. Bless teachers and thank you for giving them the gifts of nurture, creativity and patience.  Guide them in uderstanding and welcoming students who are unique. As parents we want good things for our children and want to protect them. Help us to let go of the worry we feel at times of transition and trust in what you have in store in the future. Amen

Rev Doc Lorna

Photo: “Little Boy Holding a Whiteboard” by photostock courtesy of FreeDigitalPhoto.net

When Compliments Hurt

Autism, Special Needs Parenting, , , , , ,

Lorna and Craig watermarked

“You’ve done such a good job with him.”

I know it was meant as a compliment, but this statement from someone over a year ago has stuck with me for a variety of reasons.  As my baby turns 25 years-old I have to ask myself the question, have I?

Asperger’s is what it is. We’ve taken our son to all variety of therapies and he has gained genuine coping skills. He is a remarkable young man, confident and caring.  He advocates for himself. He understands his limits. A friend said something to him in humor.  It left him confused, so he asked, “Is that sarcasm?  I don’t do well with sarcasm.  I’m very literal.  Could you please explain what you meant?”  Way to go!

There are many things my son does, but one thing he doesn’t do is blend.  A parent recently confided in tears about attending a party with her son and being reminded again that he was different due to autism.  No one was mean. Nothing was wrong. It was just one of those times when the developmental disconnect reached up and slapped her in the face. That innocent comment, “You’ve done a good job with him,” did that to me. Differences had been noted and evaluated without anyone saying a word.

Honestly, it made me defensive. I wanted to ask, “How would you know? What leads you to believe it took extraordinary effort from all of us to get to where we are? How do you know the job we did was “good?”

I let it go. No harm was meant. It was a compliment! It just happened to be one that accidentally poked at a tender place that all special needs parents guard.  We had done a “good job.” Were we perfect parents? Of course not! Perfect is over-rated. We did our best.  A lot of the time we just winged it and prayed. Babies don’t come with owner’s manuals, especially not ours!

I’ve come to learn that blending is over-rated too. We aren’t meant to blend.  We are meant to stand out.  The psalmist writes,

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well.” (Psalm 139:14)

How can a person who is fearfully and wonderfully made blend? Wonderful are God’s works in making each and every one of us as unique as fingerprints. Yes, as parents we work hard to equip our children. It is our most sacred privilege in this world. As they mature, let their differences shine. Embrace their strengths, reinforce where they need support.

When I pray for my son I hear the voice of my heavenly father saying, “You’ve done a good job with him.” To which I reply, “Thank you. You gave us great material to work with!”

Creating God, bless your holy name for making us all unique and yet all in your image. Free us from the expectations of this world and help us embrace instead the beauty in not blending. Amen

Eight Ways to Reduce Back to School Anxiety

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Back to School

I’m sharing with my readers a guest blog I wrote for Ellen Stumbo.  You can read the original post here.

When I was a child, back to school came with lots of excitement and the good kind of anticipation. For my son on the autism spectrum, it was a very different experience.   Early on, we didn’t have anything close to a smooth transition when the school doors flung wide, welcoming all the little people who had become somewhat bigger people over the summer. As the first few years got off to bumpy starts, I found my son who is on the autism spectrum grew anxious about the start of the school year. I started to worry too. Would my son have a teacher who was a good fit for his needs?  Would he be able to cope with the social strain? Would he handle all the new material he needed to learn? Would he be safe from bullies? Would he make just one friend that year?

Dear God, is it asking too much for the answer to all of those questions to be “yes?”

For both of us, the sense of anxiety about back to school had much to do with the unknown. What happened to the “fun” part of back-to-school that I had known?  I was determined to help him have some happy memories by making what felt unknown become familiar instead.  Here are a few strategies that worked well for my family:

  • Brush up on academic skills. Math skills were always a challenge and hard-won gains eroded quickly over the summer. We found a math tutor who did a two-week intensive, meeting one-on-one an hour a day.
  • Review lists of back to school supplies with your child’s therapists. Check for alternate suggestions that best suit your child’s needs and motor skill abilities. Also, schedule ongoing after school therapy appointments. Therapist’s schedules fill quickly in those coveted afterschool hours. Booking early will help reserve the time slot that best fits the rhythm of your family and minimize disruption.
  • Make a “First Day Plan.” Navigating crowded hallways can be overwhelming to children with sensory issues, especially if he or she already has anxiety about a new routine. Introduce your child to their “go to” people, such as the school nurse, cafeteria monitor, and so forth. We used to arrange a time before school began, apart from the hectic “meet your teacher” night, and find the route to classroom, library, cafeteria, nurse’s office, and restrooms.
  • Avoid unnecessary embarrassment by having a spare change of clothes and underwear tucked away at school, just in case.
  • Help your child connect with other children he or she already knows who will be in the classroom. A familiar face on the first day of school can help alleviate anxiety.
  • Get in the groove ahead of time. Adjust bedtime and waking time to match the back-to-school schedule during the week before school. Experiment with lunch. The first day goes so much better if a picky eater is willing to eat what is packed in their lunchbox. What they ate happily a few months ago may suddenly be less appealing. Try doing a full dress rehearsal of getting ready for the first day and keep it fun rather than rushed.
  • Plan to something simple, but special to your child after the first day. It may take a few weeks to get into a settled routine and that is alright. Celebrate even small victories along the way.
  • Pray for your child each day and give over to God all that is outside of your control.

These are a few ways that my family made back-to-school fun again.  I’d love to hear what works for your family.

Rev Doc Lorna

Photo “Back to School” by Nuttakit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Peace, Be Still

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Poppy by Dan from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Be still, and know that I am God! (Psalm 46:10 NRS)

“Where did the summer go? Two months ago I had all of these great intentions. Now it’s almost time for back to school!”

My friend’s frustration certainly mirrored my own at times.  How often have I lamented, “If I just had the time I would…” But then the much-needed gift of time was wasted.

Or was it?

Engaging life at a different and slower pace is a gift.  Give yourself permission not to have to produce every moment. There is a saying, “We are human beings, not human doings.”

Simply ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’ is a gift in itself.

A scripture meditation to help you relax and enjoy that difference.

Sit comfortably in a place free from distractions for just three minutes.

Breathe deeply and focus on one line for each minute

“Be still and know that I am God.”

“Be still.”

“Be.”

May the peace that surpasses all understanding be with you now and forever more. Amen

Rev Doc Lorna

Image “Poppy” by Dan courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

But I Don’t Want to Run a Marathon!

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“Exercising In The Park” by mapichai from FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

Let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, (Hebrews 12:1(b) NRS)

“But I don’t want to run a marathon!”

I think every parent of a child with special needs has received the pep talk, “This isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon.  Pace yourself.”

This is great advice for all of us who are caregivers to children who have extraordinary needs. Pay attention to how you care for yourself, how you spread your energy, so that you don’t burn out and you have enough in the tank for the long road ahead. But what if running a marathon was never your goal? What if your personal road to acceptance means literally have running 26.2 miles?

Special needs parent Elizabeth Elder joined one of my support groups and shared her inspiring story:

My husband, James, and I have two beautiful children, a four year old daughter, Annabelle, and a three year old son, Blair. Both of our children were recently diagnosed with a rare mitochondrial disorder that has caused significant developmental delays and mobility challenges. Although we believe they will eventually walk and hopefully run someday, they can’t right now. In fact, they work very hard to sit up on their own. But what they lack in strength, they make up in determination, while flashing the most infectious smiles!

Frankly, running a full marathon has never interested me. Until one day about five months ago… I was having a difficult day and my dear husband gave me a pep talk. Having run the New York City marathon himself in 2009, James likened our challenge to running the marathon. He explained how our situation is not like a sprint. We can’t just give it our all with the comfort of knowing it will quickly be over. Instead, we have to follow our kids’ lead and give it our all, day after day, knowing that we have a long road ahead of us. To that, I responded, “but I don’t want to run a marathon!”

The next day I was actually on a run when I had a great epiphany: I CAN run a marathon and I WILL! From that moment, I accepted the road we are on and decided to use my strength to embrace what I have: an able body and two disabled children. Running a marathon is a huge personal achievement for anyone. However for me, running the NYC marathon is about overcoming challenges and proving that perseverance wins.

So on November 1st, I can and I will give it everything I have in honor of Annabelle and Blair and every other determined soul who doesn’t let their disabled body stop them from their own marathon.

Elizabeth has taken on training for the NYC Marathon in order to raise awareness and funds for Achilles International.  So far, friends and family has helped her raise over $7,000, far exceeding her original goal.  I hope my readers will join me in wishing her well and prayers for a successful journey, both physically and emotionally. You can learn more about Achilles International, a charity for children with disabilities and war veterans, here: Achilles International

Family hiking

Supporting God, Help each of us run with perseverance the task set before us. The fact that it is hard at times reminds us that we need you.  We lift up Elizabeth in her goal for NYC and pray blessings on her journey of self-discovery. Amen

Rev Doc Lorna

“Exercising In The Park” by mapichai from FreeDigitalPhotos.Net.jpg

Twelve Tips for Special Needs and the Long, Long Summer

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“Blank Calendar Shows Plan Appointment Schedule Or Event” by Stuart Miles from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I told a lie. I didn’t mean to, but it just happened. I suppose I wanted to fit in with the other moms. Peer pressure is a powerful force, even for parents.

I was picking my son up from school toward the end of the year in second grade.  He walked home with me each day.  The school bus was too frustrating. The carpool line was long and caused anxiety as he waited to see my car.  So day after day I sweated in the late afternoon Texas heat with a handful of other moms outside the second grade hallway.

One mom gushed about her upcoming summer. “I can’t wait for school to get out. We’ve got swim team coming up. Then a trip to see grandparents. Then the kids are heading to my sister’s with their cousins so my husband and I can get away. After that we have vacation Bible school and then I’m sending them off to a week of camp for the first time.  We are going to try to fit in a trip to Disney if we can, but our summer is so packed it may have to wait until next year.”

Another piped up, “Same here.  I think we signed up for every single activity at the YMCA. Family is coming for a visit. It’s just crazy-busy all summer long.”

That’s when I lied. “Us too!” The second part wasn’t a lie, “It will be a relief when summer is over.”

All I could think of was the painfully blank calendar of non-existent summer activities.  Play dates? Kind of hard when your child has no friends.  Swim team? Ha! The noise, the chaos, that blaring horn and shrill whistle – not for my son on the autism spectrum. Vacation Bible school? I tried that once and, honestly, there were parents in that program who stopped speaking to me because I dared to enroll my son after the lead pastor encouraged me to do so. No way was I trying that again! The team activities at the YMCA? Those were a real challenge and more frustrating than fun to my son. He could have a full-blown meltdown playing BINGO. Siblings extending invitations to give us respite? Nope. We did have a couple weeks planned to go visit grandparents, but two weeks out of twelve is a drop in the bucket.

This magical and marvelous summer the other moms described was not my world, though I desperately wished that it could be. So I lied and said, “Us too!” and set about erasing that lie by finding things to fill the days.

If you’ve reached the mid-pont of summer and have run out of activities, here are a few strategies that worked for me:

  • Support groups. Other parents are likely to have kids in need of friends too. Ours was not the only family staring down the barrel of a long and boring summer.
  • “Special needs friendly” events. These were non-existent back when my son was young, but are becoming more and more popular. Check with local children museums, movie theaters, sports stadiums and performing arts venues.  For example, the Houston Ballet Company recently offered their first autism friendly performance, complete with interaction between performers and children afterwards.
  • Congregations with special needs ministries. Faith communities are much more aware and inclusive in summer camp and vacation Bible school. Find a program that fits your family and talk to the staff ahead of time so that they are prepared with volunteers who match the needs of your child. If budget is tight, volunteer your own time to help defray cost.
  • Summer camp for special needs children. There are more and more opportunities for children with special needs to experience summer camp. Some are child specific and some accommodate the whole family.  These often fill early so research registration dates and mark them on your calendar.
  • Check the calendar at local disability friendly non-profits. For example, in the Houston area, Family to Family Network and Easter Seals offer or have information about a variety activities and respite care. There is also Mikey’s Guide, a local publication to a broad variety of local disability friendly services and events.
  • Keep a routine. For many of our kids, structure is key. Set a routine for meals, errands, play time, family chores. Routine helps remove boredom.
  • Focus on therapy and acquiring new skills. Fitting in therapies during the school year can be a real challenge. Take advantage of available time to focus on areas for growth. Consider finding a tutor for challenging subjects to help keep your child from losing hard-won skills in math and reading.
  • Enjoy a less hectic pace for a while. While we live in a culture that glorifies “busy,” it is okay to step off the merry-go-round and enjoy a pace that is slower than the world around you.
  • Explore the outdoors. Children are inside for hours each day at school. Take advantage of summer as a time to get outside and explore parks, beaches, and walking trails. State and local parks in your area may have summer programs, such as guided trail tours, that suit a child’s interest and focus. If mobility is a challenge consider a tagalong trailer for a bike. Check your own yard for bird nests and enjoy watching the new family grow.
  • Check out programs at the local library. Libraries are a treasure trove of child friendly activities and resources. The best part? They are free!
  • Water is wonderful in the summer heat. If the community pool is overwhelming, go at off times. No pool in your area? Create your own backyard water fun with sprinklers or an inexpensive wading pool.
  • Remember self-care. Parenting becomes 24/7 when children are home from school. With high needs children this can be especially tiring to the caregiver. Tag team with your spouse or other adult when you need a break. Schedule a night out as often as you can in order to nurture your most important relationships. Take time to do things you enjoy.

I learned that filling the summer isn’t about keeping up with what everyone else is doing.  Rather, it is about finding the pace and activities that best suits my family and flourishing there. I’d love to hear from parents other ideas for family fun.

You have fixed all the bounds of the earth; you made summer and winter. (Psalm 74:17 NRS)

Renewing God, Thank you or the change of pace over the summer. Help us find refreshment and renewal rather than boredom in the midst of the gift of time. Amen

Rev Doc Lorna

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Celebrating Freedom

Special Needs Parenting, , , , ,

“Fireworks” by satit_srihin from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As America celebrates the anniversary of freedom as a sovereign nation, may God bless families raising children with special needs with their own much-needed freedom.

Freedom from anxiety and worry about the unknown.

Freedom from fatigue and frustration.

Freedom from fear of the unseen future.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NRS)

In giving to Christ the burdens that we cannot control, there is true freedom.  Now, that is something to celebrate!

Loving God, Thank you for your offer to carry our burdens.  We accept! Amen

Rev Doc Lorna

“Fireworks” by satit_srihin from FreeDigitalPhotos.net